04 April 2006

Bad Pick-Up (truck) Lines

I'm so damn

There are quite a few talented guys who share their writing here. I have to assume that, at one point, they were all teenagers. So maybe they can enlighten me on the meaning behind this bizarre ritual.

What exactly is the purpose or point to slowing down when driving past a woman to hang dangerously far out of your car window and yell "Hey, sexy! I want a piece of that sweet ass!"? I was walking home from work the other day and some little prevert yelled that out the passenger window of a confederate-flag-adorned pick-up truck. (Yep. This is Florida, y'all!)

Are you hoping your wit and charm will leave us overwhelmed with lust to the point that we'll tear off our clothes right then and there and scream "Take me now, you sexy beast!"? Is it to impress your friends? Can you just not think of any other way to initiate contact with someone who has a vagina?

I've seen hot guys and gals while driving. But I've never yelled suggestive things out the window at them. Although now that I've written that, I have the urge to give it a try! Maybe I'll drive past a construction site and yell "Yeah, baby! Work it! Bring your hammer over here sweet cheeks, cause I want you to nail me!"

But seriously, most of the time it's more amusing than annoying. The good old boy who had to declare his undying love to me at 40 miles an hour the other day gave me a good laugh. But I do have one tip to offer potential romeos-on-the-run. Don't do that shit after dark. This world ain't always a friendly place and you can scare the hell out of somebody that way.

In other news, I'll be back in Kentucky soon. Ahhhh. Life is good. Have a great week and thanks for reading.

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