Dec. 08, 2001

You know we've become too p.c. when...

I'm so damn The current mood of augustdreams at

Live and let live. But how do we know when we've taken it too far? Here's a hint: When we consider falling in love and engaging in (brace yourself here) sexual relations with a damn Guillotine, it's time to stick our collective heads in a bucket of ice water!

Allow me to explain: At some point I was surfing a site that reviews weird web pages and is usually good for a laugh. One of their reviews was the website of a woman who wished to share with the world her devotion to her sexual partners of choice... Guillotines and various large constructions such as walls and bridges.

Her first marriage was to a Guillotine and she insisted that she never "forced herself" on it. ('cause even with 18th century relics, no means no...) She always waited until it was "in the mood." Fortunately (or un- if you're as deeply depraved as I am) she didn't share the details of these romantic encounters. I know I'm hopelessly twisted but seriously now - I really want to know how one fucks a Guillotine. (Very carefully! Ah-haha! Thank you, folks. I'm here all week.)

Apparently love is a fickle mistress even amongst those who share the joy of sex with sharp objects. She dumped it and ran off (er metaphorically speaking of course) with the Berlin Wall. (!) She and the wall have been married since 1971. (The bride is registered at the Department of Public Works, should you feel the urge to send a 30-year Anniversary gift.)

Anyhoo. The site has a forum where people could post their reactions to the bizareness. I never bothered with it until the whole "Guillotine love" thing. I just couldn't let that pass without comment. I then asked what would happen when some roguish abandoned warehouse caught her eye and the Berlin Wall was tossed aside like so much used tissue? The general response to my comment was that I was a quite intolerant and mean-spirited individual. This in my humble opinion, is that dreadful sign that we have become far too politically correct for our own good. Say it with me now: Living in marital bliss with a Guillotine is weird. Dumping said Guillotine for the Berlin wall is weirder still! I'm not saying I have anything against her. Hell, given my sexual proclivities (which I am slowly but surely returning to and which involve a whips, canes and such) I'm in no position to judge anyone. But come on now - if we can't mock someone who marries a wall who CAN we mock!?

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