20 December 2005

Carry on

I'm so damn The current mood of augustdreams at www.imood.com

I miss my Aphrodite. It still hurts so much. I don't know how to describe this except as a kind of soulache. It's not a physical pain, it's spiritual. It feels like some vital part of me is still torn and bleeding.

It's hard having Christmas without her. When she still had her vision, she loved Christmas lights. I'd always tell her "Aph! Liiiiights." and she'd go wiggling over to the tree and put her nose up to the twinkle lights.

I know this will get better. It won't always hurt so much or be so hard.

In brighter news, the New Job starts in less than two weeks now. And on Thursday we're having an orientation day in our new restaurant. I already signed up to do double shifts during our two training weeks in January. Two weeks of working 9am - 9pm six days a week. Overtime pay, here I come! I'm so butt broke. Friends have taken care of me when I needed financial help, and I want to pay them back. I want to buy some late Christmas gifts. I need to buy or adopt a puppy.

I also need to give the lawyer $100 to get my bankruptcy rolling. There's something so fundamentally wrong with a system where it costs money to declare you don't have any. It's going to cost me $600 to stand up in court and say "You must bow down to my almighty bunghole!" (Or, y'know, I could just say I don't have any money. We'll see how it goes.)

Once I've paid the hundred bucks, none of the collection agents will be able to call. It'll be illegal for those bastards to harass me. Some of them are truly the scum of the Earth. They act as if I'm trying to get away with something. Like maybe I'm secretly rich and just don't want to pay. Yeah. That's it, Skippy. Ya caught me. I get my kicks by having ambulance rides, surgeries and other medical procedures that I can't afford. I don't really even need them! I'm perfectly healthy! I just have a fetish for those paper gowns. All of my evil plans have come to fruition! Bwa-hahahaha!

I want to end on a much happier note. Merry Christmas, my friends. You're the best gifts I've ever been given. Whether we've met in person, exchanged emails and notes, or just read each other regularly, you have made a positive difference in my life. It's an honor to read your words, and to share mine.

Happy Holidays and thanks for reading.

This is far too cute. I got it from the wonderful Cat.

My doll:

Make your own at this site: Elouai Dollmaker

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