January 31, 2002

My blue sky story

I'm so damn The current mood of augustdreams at www.imood.com

When I was 11 years old, I was outside for gym class (the bane of my existance) and playing left field during a softball game. Ahh, yes. Left field. That haven for daydreamers and non-athletes. I was feeling very weighed down and unhappy. Being picked last again is almost too much to bear when you've only had 11 years in the world. And one of my relatives was visiting which meant there'd be a big, slobbery, drunk in my home. All of a sudden, I looked up and noticed that the sky was cloudless and deep blue. A breeze came by, a warm breeze promising summertime and sleepovers with friends and playing outside until long after dark. It was a warm breeze, caressing my face and making me smile.

I knew right then that my problems were temporary, that life had so many good things in store. I felt that if I only raised my arms I could fly up into that blue sky and just soar. I could almost feel that woman that I would become saying hello to the little girl I still was. I felt all the possibilites and all the wonders life has to offer ahead of me. And I felt all the joys of being 11, too. Walking with friends. Playing freeze tag. Having sleepovers and walking to the store to buy bags of penny candy (there was one store where I grew up that actually sold sour patch kids, swedish fish for a penny apiece!) where we'd get silly from the sugar rush and laugh at everything and nothing. All the good things came to me all of a sudden and I was standing out there in left field with a big smile on my face.

I've held onto that moment. Because if life can feel like that, that wonderful feeling of knowing you can soar, then it's worth all the bad stuff. It's something I've never forgotten, and when I'm feeling weighed down or unhappy I go outside and look up to the sky and remember.

I just wanted to share that with you guys. Have a wonderful night.

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