30 May 2007

Good to see me. How have I been?

I'm so damn The current mood of augustdreams at www.imood.com

WARNING: All kinds of sex stuff here. If you're going to get offended please don't read. If you're going to get offended and then feel the need to tell me about it, please kiss my ass.

I've not written much here lately because along with working a lot I've been busy having the best sex of my life with the very best friends/lovers/playmates.

About 11 years ago when I was just shy of the legal drinking age I stared getting into bondage and S/M play. I loved it. Best natural high in the world. I love the feel, the intensity, the emotional release. The rape destroyed all the pleasure I took in sharing that kind of thing with partners that I loved and trusted. It didn't just destroy my natural desires it hit me so fucking hard it knocked me into being vanilla. And I stayed that way for a long time.

Slowly, over the past couple years I started taking back the things I loved. It was a long process and it's only been in this past year that I've been sort of sexually reborn. So I suppose it's natural that I've been very much making up for lost time.

Sex was always a big part of my life. My attackers stole that from me. I can't get back the time they stole from me but I've taken back everything else. EVERYTHING. They no longer hold anything over me. They're just ghosts now. They can shriek and rattle their chains but they can't touch me. They can't taint what I love. They can't hurt me.

So this is the very last time that I'm going to refer to them. This is their final send-off. (NOT by any means an end to my writing here, just an end to my referring to B. and M. and the attack.) So it's only fair to give them a proper send-off. I'm writing this for me because it feels good to write it out. This diary is my oasis sometimes so forgive this being probably a fantastically dull read for anyone but me. Blah, blah, blah. Enough stalling and justifying! Here goes. They're not monsters. They're not powerful. They never were. They were sick, pathetic little cowards. They were afraid after they did it. No other reason to threaten to hurt Aphrodite and my mom. I hope they're still afraid. They may as well be, because I'm sure not. Not anymore. I hope what they did poisoned their relationship and their lives. I hope it never stops haunting them and I hope they never stop being afraid.

It took a long time for me to find myself again and I have to say, I'm a sight for my sore eyes.

Have a great Wednesday and thanks for reading.

P.S. Warning at the top obviously doesn't apply to anybody I know who reads. I just threw it out there in case of random strangers.

P.P.S. Because I don't want to fill this place with stuff that might make people squirm I'm creating another diary for all the kinky sex stuff. If anybody would like to read just let me know and I'll send you a link and password as that one will be locked.

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