20 June 2006

Health Update and Pics

I'm so damn The current mood of augustdreams at www.imood.com

I saw the doc again today and got a release to return to work tomorrow. And there was much rejoicing! I'm still about a quart low, so to speak, but everything is just low now, not low critical. I've also talked to the bossman (who is a really decent guy, one that I genuinely like and respect) and have worked out my availability. I'll be working every Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. That gives me 32 hours a week with the option of overtime if I want it. But it means that I'll never be scheduled to work more than two days in a row.

I've spent the last few years trying to do a regular five-day-forty-hour work week. Unfortunately, I simply can't handle it. I have to accept that, because I can't force or will my body to be healthy. My health problems aren't life-threatening, but they are chronic and they're not going to vanish just because I wish they would and I'm stubborn as hell. It's only taken me about the last ten years to figure that out.

I suppose that human nature makes us all our own harshest critics. It's hard not to feel like a failure for not being able to work a traditional, 9-5 week. It's hard to convince myself that being unable to handle that doesn't make me weak, lazy or less valuble as a person. Those self-accusations sound pretty damn harsh written out that way, and that helps. Because those are things I would never say to anyone I love. They're unkind and, more importantly, untrue. And seeing as I'm someone I love, I need to stop allowing them to plague me. I strive to be a good person, good friend, good mama to my pets, good writer, good daughter, good lover *wicked grin*, and I try to measure my worth by those things, not by how many hours I can work in a week or how much money I make in a year. Usually, I succeed.

In other news, I puppy-sat for my friend and neighbor Cliff yesterday. Nicky (the puppy) is just six weeks so couldn't be left alone. He's freaking adorable.

In the backyard:

Sleeping in my arms:

A new one of Foof (taken after I got back from the doc this morning - moments before she ruined the moment by pooping on me!) peeking over my shoulder and looking gratuitously cute:

Have a great week and thanks for reading.

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