June 09, 2004

Honest Blogger Survey

I'm so damn

Got this from Gumphood

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?

I go in diguise. That way if someone says "Hey! Aren't you the woman who told people to have a lay in the Manatee theater at Seaworld?" I can say "Ha, ha! No." Also, I can lurk amongst the beans and watch for crime. A good disguise should always double as a superhero costume.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?

Nope. What you see is what you get.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?

Creeps are everywhere. I once got an offer from some barely literate freakshow who wanted to share a "bath of tongue". That's why the good lord gave us the power of 'block email address'. As far as email from dorks goes, since I'm a big dork myself I'm always glad to hear from my brethren.

4. Do you lie in your blog?

No. It's a journal, what's the point in keeping one if you're going to lie?

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?

I really never gave it much thought. Not that I'm aware of, no.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?

That's just obnoxious.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be?

If I'm going to pay somebody a freaking hundred dollars an hour it had better involve fantastic oral sex and chocolate ice cream.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?

Hell yeah, I delete mean comments. There's no excuse for that. There's already enough pain and shit in this world, you don't need to add to it. No, I don't fake nice comments but if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't admit to it.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?

Only once, after I read that Gumphood has a 10 foot cock.

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?

They'd like me the same, I'd imagine. I'm the same person whether I'm typing or talking. Of course, those people who keep finding my diary by searching for Smurf porn would probably like me a whole lost less since my Sex-Slave-Smurf ran away. Do you know how hard it is to find a smurf these days?

11. Do you have a job?

I work at the Happiest Place on Earth.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?

Fuck, yeah!

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?

Everyone on my favorites list.

14. How many bloggers have you made out with?

I don't kiss and tell. ;) Oh, wait. Yes, I do. Three, so far.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?

Wah-hahahaha! If I acted like I had any less money than I actually do, I'd have to fake writing from inside a cardboard box.

16. Does your family read your blog?

Gah! Let's hope not.

17. How old is your blog?

Comin' up on four years, baby.

18. Do you get more than 1000 pageviews per day?

Not on a regular basis, but every now and then.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?

Nah, I write about all that stuff right here.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?

Nope. But there are plenty that I'd gladly donate funds to, should they ever need it.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?

Where do I pick up that check again?

22. Is blogging narcissistic?

Yep.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?

Yep.

24. Do you like John Mayer?

Sure, why not?

25. Do you have enemies?

You mean aside from the Connecticut Student Loan Foundation?

26. Are you lonely?

Not in general. When I do feel lonely, I pretend the socks in my drawer are talking to me.

27. Why bother?

It makes me happy. Besides, I'm a writer. It's what we do.

Have a good afternoon and thanks for reading.

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