03 December 2005

Letter from Aph

I'm so damn The current mood of augustdreams at www.imood.com

Dear Nicole,

I just want you to know how happy I am to be in this new world. It's great here! I can see again, and I can eat all the sweets I want. There are no such things as cataracts, arthiritis or diabetes here. But guess what!? There's still hamburgers and cheese! A lot of people get scared when they think of being here but I'll tell you a secret. It's not scary at all! It's a wonderful place. And when we're together again, it'll be forever! Just think of all the time we'll have then for running and playing, and for cuddling. Not to mention you can feed me treats again!

Please don't feel bad for crying. I know it only means you love me as much as I love you. Even though I no longer feel old, I still like to take naps. And when I nap, I dream about you. That makes me wag my tail. I know you wish we could be together again right now, but there are a lot of things you still have to do before you can join me. And it's okay, I promise I'll wait for you.

There is NO way I could ever thank you enough for all the love, help and joy you gave to me during our 14 years together. How many miles of my poop did you pick up? And remember when I had all those accidents on the floor while my body was getting used to the insulin? And when I got older and it was harder to make it outside? Thank you for understanding about that. Remember when I was first diagnosed with diabetes? We were both so worried! But you took such good care of me. You always made sure you were there to give me my shots, and if you had to be somewhere else, you either made sure someone I loved and trusted would care for me in your stead or you took me with you. I loved going with you!

You had a very good guardian angel, but I told her that she can retire now, because I'm watching over you. That's what best friends do. I can see that you feel sad and guilty about the way I had to leave. But it was time for me to go, and I want to thank you for making our last moments together so peaceful and easy. I know it was hard for you to let me go, but you put my happiness above your own. Best friends do that too. I was sorry I had to go when I did, but I was hurting so much, and I was old. I really was not happy at the end, and now I'm happy again.

One more thing. Please don't feel you're betraying me by wanting to share your love with another animal. Your love made my life so happy, and I know there are a lot of animals out there who need you. It's just like when you couldn't be there to give me my Insulin. I can't be there right now to make you laugh, to play when you're happy and snuggle you when you're sad. So I want to make sure there's another fuzzy there to do those things in my stead. You wouldn't leave me with just anyone, you always made sure I would be with someone who would love and care for me the way you did. I'll do the same for you. I'll lead you to just the right new friend.

One day, you'll be very old too. But when you get here, you'll feel young again and we'll celebrate our reunion. Until then, don't worry. I'm still around. You'll see or hear me sometimes because I like to remind you that I'm not so far away.


Writing that letter on Aph's behalf helped a lot. In other news, November 20th was my five year anniversary here at Diaryland. I'm still not feeling very celebratory. But it does mean a lot to me that I've gotten so much love and support from the friends I've made here. It means the world to me Aph touched so many hearts, and that so many mourn her passing. Knowing that she was loved even by people who never got to meet her is the best Christmas gift I could ever receive. Thank you for being a part of my life these past five years, and for giving me the honor of being a part of yours.

Have a good day and thanks for reading.

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