2005-10-27

Blanche puts the hard questions to iGod

I'm so damn The current mood of augustdreams at www.imood.com

But I never got an answer

before now!

Subtitle: For Nicole. Thanks for all the years of reading enjoyment, and all the years of cuteness that is witnessing pics of Aph. Love, Blanche Blank

Not 10 minutes ago I chatted with God and it answered right back. Perhaps it can be said I didn't give the conversation the thoughtfulness and sobriety I should have. You be the judge. Here is the transcript of my chat with iGod:

Me:
Should I eat kittens?
God:
What do you think?
Me:
Probably not.
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
Because they look so tasty.
God:
That makes sense to me. The anonymous "they".
Me:
No, they're not annonymous, they're tender little morsels just waiting to be roasted.
God:
Are you serious? Do you think they ever could be?
Me:
Annonymous? No. I like to name my food.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Are you serious? I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
I would have a sex slave robot.
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
Hmm. $10,000, if it came with a police uniform.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. 10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
Yes, it does equal that, doesn't it?
God:
Blimey. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
The 100.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
So what about eating guinea pigs?
God:
Yikes! Does it have anything to do with name your food?
Me:
Well, I wouldn't name the guinea pigs, no.
God:
Interesting. No one says you have to.
Me:
I'm glad we've had this little talk, God
God:
Me too.


The above was a surprise Guest Entry from the inimitable Blanche Blank. If you're not already reading her, you're missing out! Her conversation with iGod inspired me to do the same. So I sought out our virtual saviour and here's what we discussed:

Me:
I have some questions for you.

God:
Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.

Me:
Aww, God. Man, are you high again?

God:
Once more? Being high is my total existence.

And there you have it. Solid proof that I'm going to hell.

Have a great day and thanks for reading. And my wonderful Blanche, thanks for writing!

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