Lots of Legs

I'm so damn The current mood of augustdreams at www.imood.com

Hello everyone :) My name is Miranda and Nicole has asked me to fill in for her while she's busy wrestling Asia Argento into bed.... Whoops, sorry, I meant while she rests up!

Nicole has been a wonderful friend to me for a couple of years now. She's also a great source of inspiration and support to me. She's the sort or person whose strength makes me believe that I can do anything I want to do no matter what stands in my way, whose sense of humour keeps me smiling and laughing with every word and whose friendship makes me feel warm and blessed.

Since she's not been feeling too well lately I've wished that I could be there to take care of her. Since I can't, I will send someone in my place. I seem to have a lot of trouble with spiders, and I think I've figured out why. They're lonely! That's all! They want someone to sit down and share a cup of tea with. They want someone to exchange polite conversation with and to go for a walk in the park with to stretch their legs. All of them.

However, sending a spider across the world is not as easy a task as you may think at first. For example, booking the flight. Have you any idea how much leg room they need on the plane?! You have to book them a whole bunch of seats just to they can stretch out without risk of someone finding a big hairy foot flopping into their complimentary packet of peanuts. And when it comes to reading the inflight magazine they require at least five copies. Who needs to turn pages when you can hold them all open at the same time?!

There are also problems when it comes to passport control. Have you ever tried to get a passport photograph taken for a spider? The seat does not swivel up that far, no matter what instructions are on the outside of the photobooth. And even when you have taken the picture and had their passport created they still have problems passing identification. Try convincing security that you're really the same black, furry dot in the picture when they see hundreds of spiders passing through a day. And if you happen to have lost a couple of legs along the way you've got no chance of passing!

And then there's arriving at your destination. Trying to spot someone in the crowd holding up a 'SPIDER' sign amongst the thousands of human legs that are blocking your field of vision is impossible. And if you accidentally spot an advert for insect repellent along the way.... well, things can get mighty confusing.

So in the end I decided against sending a spider to help take care of Nicole and decided to send my love instead. Feel better soon, sweetie! xx

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