September 21, 2005

Give us the Good News!

I'm so damn

New layout! Spiffy, eh? I was in the mood for a change. And I like the reference to Good News. Anyone who's been reading me for a while probably knows I tend to rant about the way the media focusses on tragedy and charity work by rich celebrities (while the cameras are on them) while there are real people out there who truly are heroes and who do good because it's what happens to be in their heart, not because it's good PR. People like him. The day they put the real heroes on the cover of all the magazines is the day I'll stop farting in the media's general direction.

In other news, I feel like an emotional snowglobe. Everytime I think I've got a handle on the heartbreak, something shakes me up and it clouds my vision again. I think the worst part of it is not knowing exactly what went on in his head. Y'know? We were together, and planning to be married, to share our lives and start a family. How did he go from that to deciding that he wasn't over his abusive ex-wife? Was he ever really in love with me? Did he mean everything he said? Or was my love just temporary novacaine for his broken heart? I want so much to believe I was more than that to him. But is that true? Does it even matter? Fneh.

Looks like I'm moving in January. Some good friends of mine need a housemate. They have tons of fuzzies and don't mind that I come complete with my own mini-zoo and that I'll probably adopt some more fuzzy ones who need a good home. I've been searching for work out there. There's an EMT class offered at the town's fire station next spring. They accept a few low-income students every year and waive the tuition fee. So I called them and guess what? The no-tuition program ended this year. Wah-hahahaha! Good one, forces of fate. Ya bastards.

I know I'm an ungrateful ass for complaining about this, but it tears me up that I used up all my government aid when I went to college the first time. I owe on student loans that I'm slowly paying back. At $20 a month I should be all paid off by oh... say, 3010. The first time I went to college, with the CFS/FMS is full swing, I could barely make it to class. Now it's in remission and I've got energy to spare most days. But now I can't get any grants or aid. Pardon me whilst I go bang my head repeatedly against a brick wall.

Have a great humpday *snicker* you guys, and thanks for reading.

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